Hottest July on Record

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Global warming, global cooling, forest fires, mudflows, beetle infestations, and incredibly stinky feet. This has been the summer of 2012.

I’ve heard from more than one source that this has been

“…the hottest July on record.”

That can’t be right.

There are fossilized palm trees in Siberia.

Evidently, Siberia had enough warm summers to support palm trees, water slides, and expensive sunscreen displays.

“Jerry, that was not ‘on record’,” you might say. “Those are fossils.”

In response to that, I have two words.

“Fossil Record.”

People either have to stop saying “This has been the hottest July on Record,” or they have to stop calling it “The Fossil Record.”

I don’t care which way it goes.

The whole matter could be settled between environmentalists, and paleontologists with a thumb wrestling war. Winner takes all.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to book a waterpark vacation in Siberia.