New Children’s Picture Book

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Contact: Jerry Begly 970-963-3815 or jerry@jerrybegly.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 4-24-10

New Book by Marble Cartoonist

“Dad, the Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come!”

Treesock Press

(Marble)- Who knows more about the Tooth Fairy than local cartoonist Jerry Begly? He’s the father of
seven children, and a kid’s ski instructor at Snowmass ski area.

In his new picture book, “Dad, the Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come!”, Jerry captures the perfect “Oh no!” moment all parents face: forgetting to exchange money for teeth. To make matters worse, the Tooth Fairy really starts missing deliveries when the family begins growing. The result? Tie-on Tooth Fairy wings, a mountain of teeth in the living room (complete with ski lift and a train), and a mysterious “hero” who will win your heart and mind.

“Dad, the ”Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come!” is 48 pages of wacky cartoons that were put together at Jerry’s Marble home using on-site solar and wind power. “I think this is the first childrens’s book with that distinction,” said Jerry from his art studio that sits off the grid and has a commanding view of the Marble valley.

“Dad, the Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come!” debuted February, 2010, and copies have already made their way to England, Brazil, Canada, and China, as well as from coast to coast in the U.S.

A graduate of Colorado Mountain College, Jerry Begly has been a freelance cartoonist in the Roaring Fork Valley for several years. His cartoons have appeared in numerous books, newspapers, and trade publications, as well as pop culture items like t-shirts and hats.

News staff interested in reviewing the book, or interviewing Jerry, can receive a complimentary copy by contacting Jerry Begly at 970-963-3815, or emailing him at jerry@jerrybegly.com .

“Dad, the Tooth Fairy Didn’t Come!” is available for purchase at www.jerrybegly.com/book , and is a production of Treesock Press.

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Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoes

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Now that global warming is in full swing, it’s time for all citizens of the world to do their part. Time is of the essence, as they say. So in the spirit of rescuing the planet from certain catastrophe, I have GOOD NEWS to share with my readers. I am now selling Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoes. These snowshoes will not fix the world’s problem of global warming, but they will “soften the blow, and spread the wealth” as we say in our marketing department. Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoes are a piece of paper that you buy from me which states that I won’t do a certain carbon emitting thing for a stated period of time, and you will be able to do the infraction stated on the snowshoe.  

By buying my Carbon Footprint Snowshoes, you can do the things that burden your conscience, as far as producing CO2 goes, and I will NOT do certain CO2 producing things, like wearing lipstick, for the specified period of time. This arrangement will ease your conscience and make me a wealthy man. 

The snowshoes are available in all sizes, and will fit all budgets. See the price list below for Carbon Footprint Snowshoes to fit YOUR needs!

2009 Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoe Price Schedule:

$19.95- The Snowshoe Hairy Conniptious Fit- 
I won’t turn on the subfloor heat in my house for 2 weeks. In exchange, you get to drive to the mall, buy 3 items made in China, and drink a Starbucks coffee. If the temperature dips below 35 degrees Farenheit in my house, you may need to buy my extended Snowshoe Warranty for $9.98 plus tax.

$49.95- Tweety Bird Special-
My family will eat organic oatmeal daily for 4 weeks straight. In return, you get to watch TV for 22 hours straight while laying in bed with the electric blanket turned on to “6”. In addition, you will be allowed to toast an entire loaf of bread during the 22 hours.

$198.95- The Two-faced Special-
I will give up flying first class to Germany,Helsinki, and Florida for one year. In return, you get to leave the lights on for one year when you leave your second home to attend climate summits and political rallies. In addition, you get to idle your car for up to one hour on the 2 days of your choice.

$599.98-Yeti-
I will lay in bed at night with ALL of the lights off for 3 years, not including leap years. You get to travel by either cruise ship,airliner, or Formula One race car to 3 different continents.

$7998.95-Oh Mama! 
My family will give up caviar, helium balloons from Russia, lightning bug festivals, and hip hop concerts for life. In exchange, you may eat caviar, buy helium balloons from Russia, attend lightning bug festivals, and wreck yourself at hip hop concerts for life.

$200,000,000,000.00-The Two Hundred Billion Dollar Snowshoe-
This is probably the best deal in the Carbon Footprint Snowshoe line. For this low price, I will keep all of the islands of the world from sinking, prevent hurricanes, tornadoes, and locust plagues, ensure that there is no famine, war, or drought, and cause harmony to ring throughout the land. Act now, and I will throw in this nifty potato peeler. 

Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoes are sure to be a hot item this Christmas. They make great stocking stuffers and are more ecofriendly than a lump of coal. In addition, we have the lowest prices on the web for carbon offset credits. Our prices can’t be beat. Not by any carbon traders in the world.  
So if you are looking to ease your conscience, or just want to get back to the good old days of indulgences, look no farther than Uncle Jerry’s Carbon Footprint Snowshoes. They’re hip, they’re helpful, and if everybody bought some, I’d be a rich man.

(This blog was printed on 100% post organic digital VGA formatted glass.)

Droopy-Drawered Jibber

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Finally, one of the greatest mysteries of our time has been solved. That’s right, the mystery of the “Droopy-drawered Jibbers”.  You may not know what a Droopy-drawered Jibber is, but you’ve all seen them multiple times. They are those guys who walk around with their pants half way down to their ankles. 
The dirty little secret I’ve found out, is that it’s not their fault ! Yup, they can’t help it at all. “How do you know that?” you might be asking right now. Here’s how I found out, recently:
My third son needed a belt. He had lost his, and was playing, working, and walking around holding his pants up by his hand. He sometimes “waddled” to keep his pants up, just like the Droopy-drawered Jibbers that are 15 and 20 years older than him. My son is 5 years old.
We drove the 40 miles to town, and were looking for  a belt. First off, no, I’m not going to buy him a belt at Walmart. They fall apart, are made in China, and aren’t even leather. On top of that, Walmart thinks I want my son to wear a belt with skulls on it. Nice social statement. We went to a place that is high class, and carries clothes built to last. A place that Americans can trust and place their money into. A place of refuge from the world of cheap and superficial-JC Penny.
At J.C. Penny, we found out that they don’t carry boys belts. Neither did K Mart. Neither did Radio Shack. It became apparent that society doesn’t want boys to wear belts. It starts when they are 5 years old, and by teenage years, the boys are used to not wearing belts. So they waddle around like ducks with their legs apart, trying desperately to keep their pants above half mast.
Droopy-drawered Jibbers are most commonly seen at ski areas, like Snowmass, where I teach skiing.  You will find them mostly in the Terrain Park, the man-made area with 40 ft. jumps, and a huge halfpipe. It’s not unusual to find old couples skiing past one of the big kickers. As a 13 year old boy goes sailing over their heads doing a “roast beef”, you can often hear the husband saying, “Look, Martha! There goes a Droopy-drawered Jibber in his natural habitat!”
It’s no wonder the military isn’t recruiting as many kids. They wouldn’t be able to march. Can you imagine the U.S. Army waddling into a town to secure it?  The first thing the locals would do is show them where the public restrooms are in the park.
The direction society is going is a little bit scary . If I take my son to JC Penny and they don’t sell boys underwear, I think we’re all in trouble.



At The Helm of Government

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10-31-09
Dear County Commissioner:
Thank you for coming to Marble and hearing us out last night. I know that it is a huge effort on the part of you and the other County Commissioners.
The purpose of this letter is to restate my request and show you the urgency of the situation. 
The request:  “Redistribute the money allocated for road maintenence and snowplowing in the greater Marble area.”
Why: The population has increased greatly in the last decade, and people are living along sections of unmaintained county roads, causing all types of problems. For example:
1.Private individuals take it upon themselves to plow the county roads, literally blocking others in with 4 ft. high piles of snow in the MIDDLE of the road.
2. Stuck vehicles are left stranded in the road, blocking the way for other people, and forcing them to walk home to their properties, often a great distance away.
3. Snowplowing “contractors” have taken out at least one telephone pedestal, and not repaired it, causing inconvenience and a safety hazard, for citizens using it.
4. Medical emergencies have occurred where the ambulance couldn’t make it to the houses in the wintertime. Alternative transportation was needed, and time delays were a potential life and death situation.
5. Neighborhood “hired” snowplow contractors are requesting $400 from me for snowplowing, yet they have not plowed within ½ mile of my property!  This leads to unnecessary strife in the community.
6.Multiple school teachers, children, craftsmen, and productive individuals live along these roads, and need to access county road 3 on a daily basis.  Passable community roads are one of the most basic services provided by the government  of a civilized society.
7.Prospector Trail, and Serpentine Trail are county owned roads, not private roads. The  private free-for-all that is quickly getting out of control is dangerous and  inappropriate for a DENSLY POPULATED area.
      8.   The use of Gunnison County machinery and employees continues to be redundant, and in some cases  unnecessary, in the Marble area. This occurs with complete disregard for pleas of help from needy and endangered citizens. This is unconscionable at the least, immoral at the middle, and illegal at the worst.
 
The number of stories of desperate individuals trying to travel on these unmaintained county roads, would take more of your time than you need to give. 
Who:  Gunnison County Commissioners are the government agents who can request Marleen Crosby to reallocate a  portion of  “Marble”  road maintenence funds. Reallocated funds would expand to    include currently unmaintained county roads in the greater Marble area. These include, but are not limited to, Prospector Trail, Serpentine Trail, and other highly populated roads.
Reallocation/redistribution of current funds is by far the least expensive option for satisfying the                    needs of the residents, citizens, and county government.
Reallocation/redistribution of current funds is the least complicated method for addressing the above stated problems from a legal standpoint. 
Reallocation/redistribution of funds is fastest way to “fix the problem”, and will result in safer, more productive, and content constituents. Isn’t that what we all want?
I would like an answer as to whether or not you approve a redistribution of funds in the greater Marble area. Will you please address this issue at the Tuesday, November 3, 2009 County Commissioners Meeting?  If not then, would you  please put it on the docket for your next scheduled meeting, and let me know ?
Thanks again for your time.  The winds of change are blowing in Marble, and we are counting on you to have a steady, firm, and compassionate hand on the wheel of government.
Sincerely,
Jerry Begly
400 Prospector Trail
Marble, CO 81623
email- coloradocartoons@yahoo.com